


a certain kind of trust

by incandescentfae



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: F/F, Other, also im ignoring everything that's happened in the past couple episodes cause uhhhhh, i feel like it, i want juno and vespa to just be annoyed bickering siblings that would do anything for each other, relevant triggers and stuff will be put at the beginning of chapters!, uhhhhh god i dont know what to tag this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:41:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24620230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incandescentfae/pseuds/incandescentfae
Summary: All the times Juno and Vespa have looked out for/helped one another.Or, these two are bickering siblings who would die for each other without question but will never ever admit that they don't quite hate each other. Also they will argue for hours over literally. anything.
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko/Vespa, Juno Steel & Vespa (Penumbra Podcast), Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 30
Kudos: 182





	1. Shut up, Steel

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for this chapter-mentions of drugs, past drug use, and the possibility of relapse. No actual drugs or drug use in the chapter though!  
> In which buddy and vespa are in love, and Juno steel....is a disaster. But he's working on it.

Sometimes Vespa forgets her partner doesn’t know everything she does. It’s not as if she hasn’t broken doctor patient confidentiality before, but she’s always had  _ reasons _ . She’s not in the habit of telling people's secrets without reason, whether personal, medical, or both-she is violent, ruthless, and half mad, but she will not stoop that low.

And damn it all, apparently this small bit of morality she’s clung to extends to  _ Steel _ . 

“-open and shut.” Buddy is saying, nonchalantly. “Honestly, I believe our biggest problem will be locating him in the midst of the party scene, we all know how those can get. So, Juno, Ransom-” And Vespa’s mind is racing. They do all know how this party will look, in more ways than one-this isnt some ‘classy’ Zolotovna ball. There’s going to be popular, potent street drugs in every other hand, cheap and easy to get without anyone noticing. Judging by the line of Steel’s mouth he’s thinking along the exact same lines as her, with a lot more personal experience, and then  _ she’s _ thinking that Buddy wouldn't send him on this job if she knew and damn it all to hell-

“Steel can’t.” She blurts, surprising everyone. Most of all herself. “He’s going to be helping me clean the medbay.”

“...You keep the medbay in ship-shape, Vespa.” Buddy says, something almost suspicious in her voice. “Are you sure…?”

“I keep it that way through routine sterilization, so one of you doesn’t lose an arm from an infection.”  _ Please don’t fight me on this one Bud,  _ she thinks almost desperately, staring her in the eyes. 

“All right.” Buddy says, an unspoken understanding passing between the two of them in that instant. She doesn’t believe Vespa for a second. But she  _ does  _ trust her, and trusts that she isn’t doing this for no reason. “Ransom-”

“Rest assured, captain, I am perfectly capable of doing this one by myself.” It’s always hard to tell with him, the slimy bastard, but she thinks she catches something like relief on his face. He knows too, then. Unsurprising-the whole ship knows that Ransom and Steel are close.  _ Disgustingly _ close. And the hacker is just beaming up at Vespa like she hung the goddamn moon-no surprises there, either. She realises with a pang that Buddy is one of only two people at the table who don’t know what’s really going on. But Steel would have told her if he wanted her to know. Goddamn liability, would have put the mission at risk instead of having an uncomfortable conversation, one of these days she’s going to throw him out an airlock and finally rid herself of a massive headache. 

* * *

“You know I trust you, love.” Buddy says that night, in bed. “And so, I trust that whatever you aren’t telling me is for a good reason.

“I wouldn't lie to you unless I had to, Bud.” Vespa replies softly. “But it’s not my thing to tell.”

“I’m sure I can guess.” She says, more to herself than Vespa. “Well, anyways. You will tell me if its something that ends up causing a genuine problem?”

“You know I will.” And then, to Vespa’s surprise….she smiles. Wide. 

“I must say I’m proud of you, darling.”

“....why?” As breathtaking as Buddy’s smile is, she’s known her for long enough to be suspicious. And she isn’t going to melt just because Buddy Aurinko, love of her life,  _ smiled _ at her. (God, she’s so soft just before bed-her hair is in rollers tonight and she’s wearing an old T-shirt of Vespa’s. She’s never looked more beautiful. Vespa thinks that every time she sees her, and it’s always true.)

“Well, I know you and Juno have your differences, or rather, your similarities-” 

“ _ Ugggghhh,  _ Budddd-”

“I’m just saying, it’s nice to see you do that for him. Perhaps soon you two will put aside the arguing for good-”

“Not  _ likely- _ ”

“Who knows, maybe you’ll even grow fond of each other.”

“That’s definitely not happening.” Buddy laughs, worn and tired, but happy, and there’s the melting she swore she wouldn’t do. “Shut up.” She says, fondly. 

“I’m feeling rather chatty tonight, you may have to make me.”  _ God,  _ Vespa loves this woman. This  _ impossible  _ woman, who’s still smiling as Vespa kisses her, soft and sweet and happy. 

* * *

  
  


“I just don’t understand why we actually have to do this.” Steel complains, and oh  _ hell _ no. He does  _ not _ get to complain, not when she just stuck her neck on the line,  _ lied to her partner,  _ for  _ him. _

“Because I told Buddy we were going to.” She growls, menacingly. “And I  _ don’t _ lie to her.” He scowls.

“Never asked you to.” He mutters.

“Well, try being grateful that I saved your ass instead of whining about it.” 

“He thinks you’re pathetic.” Ransom croons. “Overreacting to something that wouldn’t have been a big deal-but then, I suppose we can’t expect competence from  _ you. _ ” Ugh, this is so not the day for this. She shakes her head, and he goes. For the moment anyway. Behind her, Steel mutters something under his breath.

“What?” She snaps, certain that he noticed and even more certain that he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut about it.

“I  _ said.  _ Thank. You.” It sounds like it physically pains him to say. “I, uh...yeah, that wouldn’t have been a great situation for me.”

“Yeah, well. I have better things to do with my time than help you through a completely avoidable relapse. Don’t take it personally.” She grumbles. A few moments of silence pass, and she naively thinks she might get out of this without being too annoyed.

“We could at least talk or something.”

She sighs. Loudly.

“What?”

“I’m just saying! Might at least make the time go faster if we talked about something.”

“And  _ what _ do you think we could possibly have to talk about?”

* * *

A few hours later, Buddy opens the door to tell the both of them that the heist went off without a hitch.

“Come on Vespa, you can’t be serious.”

“Oh I’m deadly serious,  _ Steel. _ And I’ll prove it to you when I kick your ass.”

“But Rangian street poker is so  _ stupid-” _

“Don’t get all mad just because you still don’t understand a simple card game-”

She shuts the door.

Good enough, she tells herself. Good enough.


	2. Childhood and other things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions about childhoods, hallucinations, 
> 
> TW for a brief mention of Benten's death, allusions to abuse to Juno and Vespa. LMK if there are any I need to add!

Juno hears the scream from across the ship, and his feet are running before the rest of him catches up. Buddy and Nureyev are on a supply run with Rita, Jet’s in the garage. That means Vespa. He takes a half second to wonder if he’ll even be welcome, she might not want to see her like this and he wouldn’t blame her-but if she’s in actual danger, there’s no chance in hell he’s risking that.

He runs into the kitchen, hand on the blaster at his hip, and freezes. She’s curled up in a ball, all elbows and knees, a broken glass on the floor in front of her. Her breathing is ragged and too fast.

“No, no, not you too-” She says, voice and eyes wild. “Get out of my head, Steel, I swear to-”

“Not in your head.” Juno tells her, as softly as he can manage. Which isn’t, in general terms, all that soft. She eyes him warily. “Once, I lost a bet to Rita and I had to change the office voicemail to say “Rita and Steel investigations” for a whole goddamn week.”

“What was the bet?” She asks hoarsely.

“I thought the murderer was a friend of the victim, Rita was convinced it was the butler because it’s always the butler in the streams.” She seems satisfied with that. He’s surprised Rita hasn’t told her that one yet. “I’m gonna get a broom, for the glass.” She’s pretty good at hiding her hallucinations usually, and even when she’s not...he’s never seen it this bad. She’s terrified. He sees that for the first time now. She’s scared, and too rattled to hide it with anger. That’s something he can understand.

* * *

When he comes back with the broom, she’s calmer. Whether its real or a facade, he’s not sure, but her breathing has slowed at least.

“I can do that.” She says gruffly.

“You’re barefoot, Vespa. Buddy will kill me if you get your feet all cut up-”

“Gotten them cut plenty of times.”

“-You could get infected, lose a foot, then youre holed up in bed, and Buddy throws me out an airlock.”

“As long as she gets me out of bed so I can watch.” He snorts at that.

“You need any, uh...check or anything?” She goes quiet.

“No.” She says after a moment. “It’s easier when they’re just impossible, and there’s no way  _ he’d  _ be on the ship.” 

“Just cause it’s impossible doesn't mean it can’t freak you out.” He says lightly, hoping to ease some of the tension. “Sometimes I wake up thinking my mom’s passed out drunk across the room, and she’s been rotting in a grave on mars almost twenty years.”

“Dear old dad’s rotting in some Rangian swamp.” Vespa replies. “I should know, I put the bastard there myself.”

“No, hang on, Rangian? As in-”

“We are not having another goddamn argument about Rangian street poker, Steel. Especially from someone who doesn’t understand the game.”

“Is that why you’re so good at it?”

“Nothing better to do, all the kids used to gather on street corners after all the chores were through and gamble anything we had. A mostly good orange, a rusted necklace, an old marble. Get together and gamble them all over again the next day.” He gets the feeling she doesn’t talk about her childhood or her home planet much at all.

“Do you ever regret it?” He’s not talking about the gambling.

“He got what was coming to him.” She says stiffly, clamming up. He’s said the wrong thing.

“If I’d had my blaster with me, the day she…I might’ve made that same choice.” She’s still sitting on the floor as he turns away to get rid of the broken glass. “Just saying. Sometimes they deserve it.”

“He was a bastard.” Her voice is rough again. “Guess that was the start of my life of crime.”

“Started it with a bang?” He turns around in time to see her roll her eyes, and after a second of hesitation he extends his hand to help her up. “Come on, floor’s filthy.”

“That’s because  _ someone  _ spilled half a pound of sugar the other day and nobody’s been able to get it all up. I’m covered in  _ sugar _ , Steel.”

“Explains why you’re so sweet.” He deadpans. She takes his hand, lets him pull her to her feet.

“Nobody hears about this.” She growls, and where he once would’ve heard a threat he just hears fear. Embarrassment.

“You think I want anybody knowing I had a civil conversation with you? A lady’s got an image to upkeep, Vespa, come on.” She snorts again. He’s not sure he’s ever heard her laugh, he realizes.

“You should take that broom and try to clean up some of that goddamn sugar.”

“Aye aye, captain. Oh wait, you’re  _ not  _ the captain.”

“I wear the captain’s hat sometimes. Bud’s into it.”

“ _ Gross,  _ I  hate you get out oh my god."

He hears her cackle floating down the hallway, unable to keep the smile off his own face.

“She doesn’t even have a captains hat!” He calls after her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A late night conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW's for talk of hallucinations, sarah steel, and bentens death, this one is sad :(

She’s not expecting anyone to be awake. Not at this hour. The ship still runs on a martian day and night cycle, so it’s just after 3 am for the residents of the Carte Blanche. Someone is up, though, because the light in the kitchen is on. She runs through a short list in her head. Not the hacker, whoever it is isn’t making any noise. Not Buddy, Vespa just left her in bed. Unlikely to be Jet, he doesn’t often deviate from his normal, healthy sleep schedule. So, Ransom or Steel. Unpleasant either way. She contemplates going back to bed, but it’s just not happening. Not when every second she spends in bed is a second that something could happen, something could go wrong-the noises she’s hearing could be _real,_ could be something to worry about. Someone banging on the side of the ship, maybe, or the hull depressurizing, or- _Breathe, Vespa._ Bracing herself for what is sure to be, at the very least, a very annoying encounter, she steps into the kitchen.

She’s not expecting Steel to be sitting on the floor, wedged into the corner of two cabinets. He looks scared. It’s a position Vespa recognizes, and recognizes well. In a corner, so nothing can come up behind him. An open room. A cabinet near the knives so if need be he can defend himself. From where he’s sitting, he can see down the hallway to all their rooms and the main entrance to the ship (Not that anybody could get through.) He’s chosen somewhere that feels safe. The exact place she was headed.

“If you sit on the counter it gives you a better vantage point, and nothing can get you from above.” She says. He jumps, somehow surprised by her even though his eyes are drilling holes into the doorway. Not surprising. His mind is probably a million miles away.

“That’s not…” He says, and she snorts.

“Not what you’re doing? Take it from someone who knows, Steel, there aren’t many places on the ship safer than where you’re sitting right now.” She sees him swallow hard. Vespa could guess exactly what was bothering him, if she wanted to. It’s not hard. She can infer most of his past in the information she has from his medical exams. Part of that past seems to be a pretty rough childhood, given the cigarette burns on his shoulder blades, and the break of his nose that’s at least twenty years old, probably more. That, and Juno has mentioned his mother before. Only briefly, but he has. She wrinkles her nose in distaste. When the hell did she start thinking of him as Juno?

“I couldn’t sleep.” He says after a minute. “Just...kept thinking that I should be, I dunno, keeping watch or something.” She hums noncommittally, hopping up into her normal spot on the counter and drawing her knees to her chest.

“Steel.” She says, after a moment. Damn it all, she does trust him, even if it rankles a bit that she’s asking _him_ of all people. “Do you hear a banging noise?”

“No, I don’t.” He says slowly, and she nods. 

“What...do you hear?”

She’s not expecting him to climb up beside her, pulling his knees to his own chest in a probably unintentional mimic of her own position.

“I hear the air vents,” he says softly, “and I hear Jet snoring down the hall. And that damn faucet still dripping.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. Nothing else.” 

She allows herself to close her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. She knows he’s not lying. He wouldn’t.

“Why are you up?” She says, eyes still closed.

“I-I uh, I already told you-”

“Felt like you had to keep watch. Why?” She cracks an eye open. “Not like we got anything better to talk about.” He swallows hard. Vespa is about to take back the question and demand they sit in silence, when he speaks.

“My Ma, uh, she got mean when she drank. When she stayed out late drinking, I always ended up staying up and keeping watch. If she did something, if she got mad-it would be me. Not Benten. My, uh my brother.”

“I never had any siblings.” Vespa says, after a long moment. “Just me. What’s it like?”

“Benzaiten was my whole heart.” Juno closes his eyes, a strange look on his face halfway between grief and happiness. She doesn’t miss the past tense. “He was my twin. Better than me in every way, nicer and more patient, funnier. He could make anyone smile, even me. I took…more than my fair share of beatings for him, but he was always the one who was better at getting her to stop and calm down. I always saw her as a monster, he just saw her as...Ma. Fat lot of good that did him. Either of us.” He swallows hard, his voice wavering.

“I’m sorry.” She says softly. She doesn't have to elaborate. He only shrugs, their shoulders knocking together as he does.

“Over twenty years ago now.” Juno’s voice is raw, filled with emotion he’s trying to keep under wraps. “It, uh, still feels like a part of me is missing. But, you know, better than it was.”

“I’ve never cared about many people.” Vespa admits. “I never let myself..”

“It's not always this hard.” He’s not looking at her. “It’s the anniversary, today. Guess that’s why I needed to keep watch. I don’t know what I thought would happen, but…”

“I was hearing noises. Hallucinating. I thought something was gonna come through the ship or something, I don’t know. I knew it wasn’t real, but sometimes its better to be safe than sorry. Easier.” He nods.

“You want some hot chocolate? I want some hot chocolate.”

“Don’t burn it.”

“Oh, come on Vespa, one time-”

“One time is more than enough!”

Buddy is concerned, if not surprised, when she wakes to an empty bed in the morning. Vespa must have had a rough night. Perfectly understandable, of course, but she can’t help wishing she’d woken her. She _is_ surprised, when she walks into the kitchen, because the scene in front of her is not one she’d ever expected. Juno and Vespa are asleep, sitting on the floor with his head on her shoulder and her head on his, half empty mugs of hot chocolate discarded beside them. It really can’t be very comfortable, but it brings a smile to her face anyway.

“Ransom,” she calls down the hallways, as quietly as she can. She knows the thief is already awake. “You’ll want to see this.”


End file.
